Delay is not denial– Probably every child realizes that they rarely receive everything
they want and hardly ever get what they really want the first time they ask for it.
In fact usually they don’t. So they begin building a case to convince a parent how much
they need this new scooter or American Girl Doll.
They may even “resort to desperate measures” to demonstrate how urgent their
“need” is. Sometimes it works but sometimes not. …
Extenuating circumstances complicate this process. . .if a birthday is coming soon,
the chances of getting what they want increases significantly. However, if the
holidays have come and gone and our birthday is six months away, we become more
intentional about finding a way to get what we want. Or. there may be times when
we give up on something and “throw in the towel”.
Part of preparing for being “snowed in” when my family and I lived up in
the North Woods of Wisconsin included a visit to the public library. We
all stocked up on books, including three-year old Timmy’s favorite, “Mop Top,”
and ten-year-old Pammy’s favorite, “Little House on the Prairie.”
Two books I selected were “Beyond Ourselves” by inspirational author, Catherine
Marshall, and “Psycho Cybernetics,” by surgeon Maxwell Maltz. Both were so good
I didn’t mind a bit when we were snowed in. A crackling fire in the our
heatilator fireplace, a cup of hot chocolate and the sight of snow falling out the
window set the right mood for my mind-boggling books.
Plastic Surgeon Maxwell Maltz made strong and memorable points . . . these two
quotes can influence many of us as we achieve our goal of holding on to hope.
“This is where you will win the battle –in the playground of the mind.”
“Accept yourself as you are! Otherwise, you will never see opportunity. You will not feel free to move toward it; you will feel you are not deserving.”
For years after reading this book, its various strong points crossed my mind.
The other book I read that winter had an equally powerful impact on me.
Author Catherine Marshall became a widow suddenly, when her
husband, Peter, died of heart attack. Writing her first book, A Man
Called Peter, which later became a motion picture, helped restore her hope.
Then she began an intense study of spiritual renewal and wrote the book
I am sharing these two books because in the years to come they helped
me get through very difficult times.
Sometimes reading and embracing inspirational material makes the difference in our
ability to hold on to hope…it works for me, and I hope it does for you too!
It is never easy to climb out of the depths of despair…especially when one begins to wonder what they have to live for. . .a defining moment in time which can make the difference between life or death. How one focuses their mind and emotions at a time like this is of utmost importance.
Restoring one’s own hope is not easy but it is possible…with the right tools and know-how. Training one’s brain to believe in hope can make all the difference. When a person’s emotions are taking over, this is the time to allow the brain to clarify that no matter how one feels, emotions are not always trustworthy. When the brain is in gear, the real truth of the situation can be recognized. Then hope can arise and take charge!.
Our brain doesn’t depend on our feelings to see things clearly. But our emotions can be so distorted by hurt feelings and negative self images that it is easy to allow feelings to dictate important decisions. Things that torment us today may not be affecting us a year from now. But when we make dumb decisions, many others may be hurt.
Sometimes quick decisions can cause life long pain. Depend on our brain and not our emotions. . . yes, easier said than done but possible!
Give yourself a test case…..think of something simple to begin to train your brain! An example that comes to my mind is about swimming laps in the nearby community pool. On a warm, sunny day I can’t wait to walk to the pool and jump in. But on a chilly grey day it is easier to decide to “skip it.” Sometimes I allow my feeling that it too dreary a day to persuade me to stay home. But when I make the decision to get up and go, I always get a great feeling of accomplishment…and it is usually just a bit easier the next time.
Put your brain to work and come up with a little “test case” of your own. Let your emotions know your brain is in charge. Try it….you might like it!
Hope we can connect again, soon. D.M.
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